2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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