Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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