literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
