is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
