Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper

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(251): View more from Alabama

The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!

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(219): View more from Indiana

So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker

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(314): View more from Missouri

I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership

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