Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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