Cold hands, warm shart.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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