Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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