do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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