He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
