My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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