Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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