Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
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Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
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Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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