It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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