I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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