Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
