Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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