That's when you crack a 10am beer
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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