So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
