there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
