he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
