Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize