Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
