He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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