Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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