She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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