evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
