Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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