Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
