It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
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