YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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