1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
