A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
