youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
