How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
