My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
