Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
