don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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