how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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