this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
