so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
