If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I did not marry a roomba.
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