i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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