he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
