There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
