I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
