if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
