i don't like sucking hair
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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