just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
