everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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