TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Less talking, more tequila
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
