You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
