I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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