turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize