To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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