Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
