nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You don't make any sense
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